Hope is The Start to Great Things

Captain Dipshit and His Tests

The group got their assignment to escort Walex to visit his dying daughter on a space station.

The group got their assignment to escort Walex Blissex to visit his dying daughter at Kwenn Space Station. There was muttering among the group about it being a trap, but they took Walex and Dumbass anyway. They landed and moved into and through the airlock. Suddenly, they notice that the “hallway” ahead of them is a mirrored holograph and gas starts to pump in through the vents. Deban Jons moves up to try and knock the mirror down and realizes it is mounted on a solid wall. Realizing that they need to get out of the trap as the gas starts to sap their strength, they get one door of the airlock open and Jons destroys some of the air vents. He then grenades mirror, revealing strom troopers waiting to ambush the group. A firefight ensues and Vornn minsk attempts to rip the door out with the force, succeeding in warping the doors and opening a narrow gap. Storm troopers swarm the group and fire nets onto Mariah and Jons, the gas having taken out Dumbass and Walex and a grenade having taken out Vornn, Owensurrenders with a few choice words while facing down the barrel of an E-web. After being clubbed unconscious, they wake up to find themselves in a cell wearing their clothing but stripped of gear. Suddenly, the ship they are on comes under some sort of attack and the power goes out, releasing the locks on their cell. Slowly making their way out of the cell in the dark, they see lights coming their way. They back up around the corner and as soon as the light bearing guards come into view, Jons tackled the leader. As they were crashing to the ground, Owen leaped forward and snatched the guard’s falling blaster out of midair and shot the second one in the head, dropping him. The third guard fired…. somewhere, and Jons starts choking and slamming his target into the ground. Owen fires again, taking out the last guard as Jons’ target goes limp. Distributing blasters and lights, the group starts out again, finding Walex and their gear, minus their weapons and armor. They move out, finding and climbing down a turbolift shaft towards a hanger bay. Walex comes to and helps direct the group towards a bay. Along the way, they find a terminal and change the clock on a self-destruct, Vornn manages to trip twice, nearly falling into a raging inferno. Making it out of danger, they start through the ship for a hanger bay. Captain Kolaff (a.k.aCapt. Dipshit Squirrel-fucker) started to taunt the group over the ship comms, sending troops to ambush the group with multiple versions of the same set up, smoke grenades and quickly slain troopers. Moving into the last corridor, they discover it has no gravity and three troopers wearing jetpacks. Jons fires a grenade at them, and the follow up blasts from the group take them out easily. Moving forward, they encounter a large rooms full of labor droids milling around and two turbolasers mounted to defend the doorway they need to go through. Firing on the turbo lasers and a quick wrench of the force, the group is through. They move into the last room and see large shapes to their right. There is thick smoke and troopers start to fire on the group. The smoke starts to clear and Vornn runs to jump in one of the AT-STs that are the shapes. Mariah jumps down the rising turbo lift to the floor below, followed by Owen. The turbo lift stops 6ft below the level of the floor and reveals an AT-ST piloted by Capt. Dipshit Squirrel-fucker . Vornn tries to fire the AT-ST he manages to get into, but trips it up and crashes to the ground. Deciding that sticking around is a waste of time, he jumps down the lift. Jons, taunted by the Capt., jumps into one of the AT-STs and starts it up, charging it into the captain’s and knocking it down. The captain gets out of his AT-ST and runs for the downed one, jumping into it, realizing it has no hatch to close when Jons pumps a grenade into it. Down below, Owen runs over to the group’s ship and runs on board, coming face to face with a woman that looks remarkably like Walex. He promptly shoots her in the face and she runs off. Jumping into the pilot’s seat and locking the door, he fires up the engines and turns the ship so he can fire on and destroy the imperial shuttle in the docking bay with them. Jons finishes destroying Capt. Dipshit Squirrel-fucker and then blasts a hole in the bottom of the turbo lift. Walex crawls through the hole, followed by Jons who kindly waited a beat to allow him to roll out of the way, then jumped the AT-ST through the hole. Vornn dragged an unconscious Mariah to the ship, then Jons carries Walex on board and then they realize as they are launching away from the about-to-explode imperial ship that there are thermal detonators planted on their hyper drive. Jons rushes back and disarms them, Owen notices the woman from before launching off their ship in the escape pod and fires on her, destroying the escape pod. The group gets rescued by the rebel ships that attacked the imperials and made it home safely. They spend their reward money on buying and upgrading their gear, and Owen spends several hours making a derogatory youtube style video showing the late Capt. Dipshit Squirrel-fucker and all his nasty and demeaning habits.



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